Agreeing to Disagree Respectfully in Political Conversations

BY ALBERTA TOTZ, J.D., LPC

In my lifetime, I cannot recall a time when amongst my own friends and family there have been so many hard conversations surrounding sensitive topics such as politics, racism, gun control, abortion, and wars.  Navigating these extremely sensitive and emotionally charged conversations has been uncomfortable and agreeing to disagree respectively has of course, been challenging.  I, as with many of my clients have realized that even amongst our loved ones, friends and co-workers we have different beliefs and priorities. 

About 1 in 4 people in the U.S. say they’ve ended a friendship due to a political disagreement.  Studies show that polarization can lead to isolation, stress and anger.   (Morning Edition – Allison Aubrey – October 14, 2024)

Here are some helpful tips to guide these sensitive conversations in respectful and positive direction:

Finding shared viewpoints – When you find yourself in a discussion where you disagree instead of reacting strongly, actively listen to what is important to the other person and find areas of agreement.  For example, you may have different ideas about gun control but both have concern for keeping your loved ones safe.  Recognize that life experiences informing others’ views are likely different from your own.  When resolving conflict, people are not going to hear you until they feel heard. 

Avoid polarizing language and personal attacks – try to be aware of your tone and direct the conversation away from becoming hostile or combative, as that could have potential to negatively affect your relationship.  If you find yourself feeling overheated it may help to take deep breaths and remind yourself to stay calm.  Only you can control your emotions.

Having realistic conversation goals – It helps when discussing sensitive topics to determine what you are trying to achieve from the conversation.  Are you trying to change the person’s mind or better understand their point of view? 

Accept that you may disagree with someone you care about and do so respectively and kindly – when we are sensitive and respectful to others viewpoints as well as try to actively understand their point of view, then we walk away feeling better about ourselves and leave space and time for both of you to be potentially open to each other’s points of view in the future.

Avoid these difficult conversations at family and social gatherings – remember that these events are about bringing people together and not causing tension.  There focus on fostering positive exchanges and light-hearted activities. 

Here at Well Mind Body, we understand the importance of being able to have the tough conversations. We also know how difficult it can be to discuss topics that are near and dear to our hearts. If you are looking for support, please know that we are here to help you navigate these difficult conversations and support you.

If you would like to work with Alberta, please click here.