Parenting Today
On August 29th, 2024, the US Surgeon General opined that parents are under particularly dangerous levels of stress ("Warning: Parenting Can Be Harmful to Your Mental Health," Personal Journal, Aug 29).
After almost 26 years of parenting three children, and working in the capacity of a psychotherapist with parents and children, my personal and professional experiences have confirmed this view--parenting has been my biggest challenge and is for most people that I have known and worked with. Being a parent brings to the surface all the demons from our childhoods. Even those of us who were fortunate enough to grow up in loving and healthy homes are still taught ways of thinking, believing, and coping that we know today are maladaptive for raising children, and in general, having healthy relationships.
Parenting gives us the opportunity, if we are introspective and have the courage to be honest, to face these maladaptive patterns from our childhood and change. We can change
and experience more rewarding relationships, not just with our children, but also with our partners, friends, and peers.
My three children have been my most profound teachers. Of course, I have stumbled, made mistakes, and have regrets--but have still created space along the way to strive for change. I did not do this alone, however, but with the help of my therapist, my husband, my friends, and my community.
Parenting today is more challenging than ever, with the demands of extracurricular activities, financial demands, the rise of social media, and work. The only way to manage all of this is to find healthy outlets through exercise, self-care routines, time with our friends, and community engagement. As directed on each plane ride before take-off, if there is a crash, the only way to have the capacity to help our children, is to give the oxygen to ourselves first. This is a metaphor for our everyday lives. Without these healthy outlets, we will struggle in our roles as parents and in life.
Viktor Frankl, in his seminal work, “Man’s Search for Meaning,” teaches that meaning is derived, not from the conditions we face, but from how we interpret and respond to them. Children and grandchildren represent our future, and finding purpose in raising them is crucial.
Although parenting is more challenging in this generation, there are so many ways to seek support from our communities, parenting classes, support groups, therapists, and literature.
At Well Mind Body, we are ready to be a part of your journey and support you along the way. We work both virtually and in person.
