Tips for Navigating Holiday Family Gatherings

Disclaimer: If you are in an abusive or harmful family dynamic the number one goal is to remain safe. The following tips do not apply if you are in an abusive or harmful setting. If you need help, please reach out to a trusted professional.

The holidays bring opportunities for connection, tradition and so much more!

However the expectations, the underlying family dynamics and the overwhelm of the holiday season can also lead to challenges when gathering with loved ones. 

As therapists, we know the holidays can sometimes feel overwhelming, but with the right tools, you can create a more connective experience for yourself and your loved ones.

Here are therapist-approved tips to help you approach holiday gatherings with calm and confidence:

Set Realistic Expectations

It is important to set realistic expectations for yourself and others. Family gatherings are typically not the best time to rehash old wounds. 

Pro Tip: Before the event, reflect on what you value about the season and the people you’ll see.

Establish Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are essential for protecting your emotional well-being. Decide in advance what’s manageable for you—whether it’s how long you’ll stay or topics you’d prefer to avoid.

What to Say: “I’d love to catch up when we are not in a big group, but let’s steer clear of that topic for today.”

Practice Active Listening

Family dynamics can be smoother when everyone feels heard. Practice active listening by showing empathy and reflecting back what others share—even if you don’t agree.

Example: “It sounds like you’ve been working really hard on that. Thanks for sharing.”

Avoid Trigger Topics

Some conversations, like politics or past conflicts, can derail the positive energy of a gathering. Politely redirect the discussion to something lighter.

How to Pivot: “Speaking of holidays, what’s your favorite tradition?”

Take Time to Recharge

It’s okay to take breaks if you feel overwhelmed. Step outside, take a few deep breaths, or find a quiet corner to collect yourself.

Quick Reset: Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four.

Focus on Gratitude

Shift your perspective by focusing on what you’re grateful for, whether it’s the meal, the effort of the host, or simply being together.

What to Try: Share a positive memory or thank the host for their hard work.

Prioritize Connection Over Correction

The holidays are about building connections, not resolving disagreements. Resist the urge to “correct” family members and instead focus on fostering understanding.

Mindset Shift: Ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?”

Have a Support Plan

If family dynamics are tough, consider bringing a trusted friend or partner for emotional support. Plan ahead for ways they can help you navigate tricky moments.

Pro Tip: Arrange a relaxing activity afterward, like a walk or a movie night, to decompress together.

Create an Exit Strategy

Sometimes, leaving early is the best way to preserve your peace. Plan how you’ll gracefully exit if things become overwhelming. It is also ok to give yourself permission to skip outings that do not work for your family.

What to Say: “It’s been so nice catching up! I need to head out, but I’ve really enjoyed today.”

Practice Self-Compassion

Not every moment will go as planned, and that’s okay. Be kind to yourself if things don’t go perfectly—this is part of being human.

Mantra: “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”

Family gatherings may come with their share of stress, and they’re also opportunities to create meaningful memories. By setting boundaries, focusing on gratitude, and approaching interactions with empathy, you can navigate the holidays with a little less stress. 

Need support navigating family dynamics this season? The team at Well Mind Body is here to help. Schedule an appointment today and let us guide you toward a calmer, more joyful holiday season.